Made by genre lovers, for genre lovers; ‘Masters of Horror’ is a show you need to drop everything for, and binge out on right ******* now! Unless you are currently in the process of squeezing out the Antichrist, I can not think of another pressing matter that may be urgent than this.
Created by Mick Garris and originally airing on Showtime in 2005 with a whopping 26 episodes, (13 per season, very clever) this is a *herrific series to indulge in, for any horror fan. So, on that note, order out, light up, strap in,(or on, whatever), and prepare yourself for this bloody amazing series.
*Herrific = horrific + terrific, It’s a thing. I’m making this a thing. #herrific #makethisathing
First off, let’s talk about some of the unsung-scream queens that grace us with their on-screen presence throughout the series. There is some seriously understated talent in horror, even in the B-movie community, that tends to fall by the way said in lieu of some of the more popular genre actresses. Favorably, the first episode, (Incident On and Off a Mountain Road) features Bree Turner, ( Undressed, Sorority Boys, Jekyll + Hyde ) a truly unsung talent of the industry, who just so happens to be adorable as ****.
You can also be sure to check out performances from these horror beauties;
Fairuza Balk; American History X, The Craft, Almost Famous,( and I would be a terrible best friend if I didn’t mention the cult classic, The Worst Witch).
Angela Bettis; May, The Woman, Carrie,Wicked Lake ( fun fact about me, I’m a huge Angela Bettis fan).
Jodelle Ferland; Dead Like Me, Silent Hill, Case 39, The Cabin in the Woods, Seed, Supernatural, The Tall Man, etc. She’s a young scream queen with a ridiculously impressive resume. If you’re a horror fan, chances are you have seen her in something.
‘Masters of Horror’ is not just a cast chock full of horror beauties, there is some pretty impressive dong listed on the bill as well; you know, just to level out the playing field. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin with these dudes,( except maybe by wringing my panties out dry? Yes, that sounds like a reasonable step to begin with. I shall begin by drying out thy panties)… Anyhow, where was I? Oh yes, *AHEM* awesome dong…
Now I know where to begin, how about we begin with the infamous ladies man himself; Tony Todd (or as I endearingly call him, Tony ******* Todd). In case you have been living under a rock, or were bludgeoned by one, (‘Visitor Q’ style of course, let’s get weird with it), this morbidly charming man is the name behind the ‘Candyman’ himself. Not to mention the buttload of other herrific (we are making this a ******* thing, I’m serious) masterpieces he plays in, including, but not limited to; Holliston, Hatchet I &II, Wishmaster, the Final Destination franchise, The Crow, etc. Tony Todd is basically like the Hercules of the horror realm (I would high-five the **** out of this dude!).
You can also look forward to seeing these fellas as well:
Robert Englund; Zombie Strippers, Hatchet ,Urban Legend, The Funhouse Massacre, A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise, etc. All Hail Freddy!
Ted Raimi; Evid Dead I & II, Army of Darkness, Xena, Hercules, Man With the Screaming Brain, The Grudge, Drag Me to Hell, etc.
As well as these honorable mentions:
Norman Reedus; The Walking Dead, The Boondock Saints, 8MM.
And lastly, a truly understated favorite of mine, Jonathan Tucker; The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Virgin Suicides, Pulse, The Ruins, etc.
There’s so much more to this series than just the array of on screen talent. Adding to the appeal of the already short-attention-span-proof-anthology is the fact that each episode was directed by a separately, yet prominent, name in the horror community. With the exception of just a couple minor rules from ‘SHOWTIME,’ each director was given the free reigns of creativity to develop their segment as they please.
Featuring names like: Dario Argento, Takashi Miike, John Carpenter, Lucky McKee, and Tobe Hooper, there is surely a style, segment, and scare for everyone. As Far as I can tell there is absolutely no underlying connective story making this series a seriously rare piece that you can watch in just about any order. Although I might be the only person who watches things out of order in interest of keeping myself engaged.
In the interest of saving (valuable and nonrefundable) time that you could be spending binging out on ‘Masters of Horror,’ until your eyes bleed red; I shall spare you my next 5,000 reasons why this horror gem is so worthy of your time. Now, to compile my list of favorite segments…
Episode Count: 26
Run Time: Approximately 26 hours
Currently Streaming On: Hulu
Article By: Rachael Rumancek